


Nothing lasts forever

by Our_time_to_live



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heavy Angst, IT Chapter Two Spoilers, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, M/M, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Minor Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Not A Fix-It, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 16:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20763212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Our_time_to_live/pseuds/Our_time_to_live
Summary: "Now that he really thought about it, Richie realized that he should have known better than to believe that they would all make it out alive. It was silly, a stupid wish in the back of his mind, coming from his thirteen years old self. Because, how could it have been something else? When twenty-seven years of memories and feelings are coming back in less than forty-eight hours, to kick your ass and tear apart the life you thought was /yours/, the least you could do is believing you’ll be okay now. That everyone would be. Everyone."What could have happened between Eddie's death and the final scenes of our favorite Losers in IT chapter two.





	Nothing lasts forever

**Author's Note:**

> “Nothing lasts forever,' Richie repeated. He looked up at Bill, and Bill saw tears cut slowly through the dirt on Richie's cheeks.
> 
> 'Except maybe for love,' Ben said.
> 
> 'And desire,' Beverly said.”
> 
> ― Stephen King, It 
> 
> This quote is in my head for now two weeks and I finally saw Chapter two last night. Spoiler alert : I'm an emotional mess. Here's how I try to cope. Hope you'll enjoy this, feel free to tell me your thoughts about it!

Now that he really thought about it, Richie realized that he should have known better than to believe that they would all make it out alive. It was silly, a stupid wish in the back of his mind, coming from his thirteen years old self. Because, how could it have been something else? When twenty-seven years of memories and feelings are coming back in less than forty-eight hours, to kick your ass and tear apart the life you thought was /yours/, the least you could do is believing you’ll be okay now. That everyone would be. Everyone.

He hadn’t moved for the past four hours, from this ugly seat in the reception of the townhouse. After leaving Neibolt house and the quarry, the Losers had found their way back there, ready to pack their bags and leave this godforsaken town for once and for all. This time, they knew they’d remember, of course they would, which was all bittersweet and only made them want to cry even more than what they had already done. 

When Richie had tried to speak for the first time in what seemed like forever, Bev had come back downstairs. She’d wanted to know if he needed anything, a shoulder to cry on again, or just a silent partner with him. Because sometimes, silence was the best companion of them all, and they were all well too familiar with it. He’d looked up and shook his head, eyes empty behind his broken glasses, a bit of dirt and grime still all over his tired face.

Then he started. “Bev, you.. You said you’d all seen us die. You.. Remember? You said it. You were… You were right, for Stan.” His voice broke on the last word, on his best friend’s name, on what would always break his heart from now on.

Her first reaction was to deny it, to try and find a way to soothe Richie the best she could. He wasn’t in the best condition right now, and she didn’t want to give him even more reasons to be furious or nasty at the fucking world. Her shoulders felt heavy, heavy with truth and helplessness. “Richie.” His name was so soft on her tongue, she was talking to a scared child, taking his hand in hers. “Richie, there was nothing we could have done to save Eddie, you know this, and this is not your fault.”

“That’s fucking bullshit. If you’ve seen Eddie's death, then it means we could have stopped it.” He pulled his hand away and stood up. Hearing Eddie’s name triggered something in him, something deep and primal, a sort of instinct. He needed to get away from this, he needed to go back to Neibolt street and get him back. Why did they even leave him there? Eddie would hate to be there. His sweet hypochondriac Eddie. His Eddie, more than he was theirs. 

Bev frowned, staring at Richie pacing in the hallway with careful eyes, ready to call the others if she needed to. The past two days had been exhausting and a fucking nightmare for everyone in their family, but Richie had it worst, there was no point in denying it. And yet, she was not ready to let him lose his fucked-up mind. “I’m so sorry, you know I.. If there was anything we could do to bring him back, we would, honey. Eddie is.. Eddie’s dead and I know how...” She stopped herself at the look on his face, at the same time he stopped walking.

“Don’t. Oh no Bev, don’t fucking tell me you know I feel because we both know you are so wrong! Eddie, he... Eddie was… Fuck, I think I just died in there with him.” He breathed out, tears now streaming down his face, ugly sobs escaping as he tried to hold back what he was feeling. It was too much, he had to escape. And Bev was there though, still trying and trying to help him the best she could, because they were not leaving everyone behind, right? So why did she feel like they had done something terrible with Eddie? 

“You should have left me in there. I didn’t want to leave; I didn’t want to… Why did you make me come back?” Richie asked to his best friend, his almost sister, almost twin. His perfect Beverly, the only girl he had really loved in his life, and the only one who would matter this much to him in his whole life. “We could have stopped It from killing him. We... It should have been me, Eds pushed me away.” But right now, he felt nothing more than anger and fear once more, still not able to accept the inevitable.

It was heartbreaking to watch someone fall apart the way Richie was. Grief was a curious notion to study, and Bev had to admit that it was the first time in her life that she had felt so much compassion for someone. This wasn’t a man obsessed like her father had been with her mother. This was a man craving for love, for a lost love that he had just had back for a short amount of time. Who said the universe wasn’t a bitch?

Bev’s arms were about to carefully wrap him into a fierce hug when Richie rejected her, letting out a whine of pure pain. No, he couldn’t do this, this would mean it was real.

“No! No, don’t fucking touch me Bev, we have to go back. Please, let me go back, I.. I need him back!” He shouted, to himself, to her, to the whole planet. To anyone willing to listen.

From the corner of her eyes, she noticed Ben, Mike and Bill coming downstairs, with hesitant steps, frown all over their faces. Richie’s shouts must have been the reason why they had decided to show up, worried and knowing better than to avoid the storm. They were in this, together, or not at all. Ben was the first of them to approach the duo, his instinct placing him next to Bev, touching her shoulder, asking her if she was okay.

It made Richie laugh, and he felt suddenly sick. Bev and Ben, together. God, he should be ashamed to hate his friends for their happiness, but how could he not, when the love of his life had been buried not even five hours ago.

Ben’s voice cut through the thin silence. “Richie, come on man, maybe you should go and try to rest, okay? It’s been a long day; you need the sleep.”

“No. No, no, you don’t understand, I’m going back, it doesn’t matter, it’s...” He groaned of frustration, hands tightening in his curly hair, hating himself for not being able to make himself understandable.

Mike stood in a corner; arms crossed over his chest. When Richie had broke down with them at the quarry, he had really thought that it was the worst thing he could have witnessed. Boy, was he wrong. “The house is in pieces now.” He raised his voice a little bit, all eyes on him. “You /can’t/ go back, It has been killed as well. Eddie is... Eddie’s body might not even be there anymore.” He saw Richie shaking his head with ferocity, eyes shining as he dropped his hands along his body, chuckling.

“Then what are you expecting me to do? No, because tell me, I’m curious. What is there for me in it? What is there for Eds? He had so much more to live, so much more to fucking see. We saved this fucking town that hates us, and for what?”

The comedian looked at his friends one by one, watching them not knowing what to answer. Bill remained firm, not trusting his voice to speak up right now. Maybe if they waited, Richie would calm down, he would realize that he was talking non sense.

But he kept going, lost in his thoughts, his memories. Eddie’s smile, Eddie’s laugh. Eddie’s blush when he would mention how cute he was. The way his hand felt in his when they were younger, fingers intertwined that never wanted to let go. Being 16 and high on love for your best friend. “He never knew that I..” Even now, it was still hard to say it. Especially with Eddie being dead, the guilt would never leave him alone. “I never got a chance to tell him. We forgot and I.. I loved him so much, I miss him so much.”

“We know Rich, but we’re here to help you. You’re not alone in this.” Sweet Ben, once more. Not with pity, but only kindness in his eyes. Richie was going to throw up.

“Don’t you dare Ben. No, I’m sorry, but you can’t tell me this. You got Bev back. And guys I’m really happy for you, but... It’s not fucking fair. How do you… You got your happy ending. Mikey’s finally gonna leave, Big Bill made his peace with himself. My ending died in those fucking sewers and it’s not damn fair! You don’t understand, you can’t, you didn’t lose Eddie the way I did! I won’t forget this time. He died, my love died and here was my fucking reward!” His shouts were louder and louder, heart not healing nor breathing, then when does the hurt would stop?

When he stopped himself, body definitely shaking, Bev didn’t dare to say anything else. Ben, chewing on his lower lip, was mourning the death of both of his friends. Now it was real, the way Richie had just lost it, it made everything real.

“Richie.”

Having his name called after a few seconds of silence, made Richie blink of surprise. Bill was making his way towards him, eyes shining with despair and heartbreak. So, Richie only frowned, already not liking the plea in his voice. Asking him to stop, asking him to be strong from now on.

“Richie, Stan died.”

How Bill said those words, heavy with implications and things that had never been said before this moment, calmed Richie. He had been ready to argue though, to say that “thanks shithead, I know that my best friend died as well”, but by looking in Bill’s eyes, it was like looking in a mirror. They were the same at this moment. After these two days of hell, they had to learn how to live again, with memories that were still from another lifetime.

Richie had stopped counting how many times he had find himself in tears while struggling to breathe since they all came back, but this time, it was different, as soon as Bill wrapped his arms around his shaking shoulders, for a hug that they both needed. And the rest of the seven Losers, now five, joined them to help the best they could.

And as he asked for forgiveness, as he asked for them to never let go, Richie realized that he didn’t have a choice anymore. Those memories were what he had left from Eddie, he had to cherish them, to take care. They would never be the same, but they would eventually be okay.

Richie could exhale now. 


End file.
